Home

A few years back I became a fan, along with a million others, of Bring a Trailer, the popular automotive auction website. It didn’t take me long to realize cars were a big part in the lives of others, as well.

I began writing stories about some of the listings and posting them for my own amusement. Most featured the car being auctioned as it might have related to the lives of the people who’d owned it. Some revolved around fictional narratives of how the cars were developed and brought to market. Others explained how each vehicle became a part of its owner’s life. The stories were meant to provide some lighthearted entertainment for those who read them.

Turns out they did. I was voted winner of the Bellcord Award for 2019, the prize for Most Valuable Commenter of the Year by the Bring a Trailer community. Since then, I’ve been asked repeatedly to put the best stories in a book for the masses to enjoy and give as gifts. I’m working on that.

From that sprung the blog a few years later.

A place to park a new story every single day for those who appreciate cars, coffee, and some ol’ fashioned West Texas story telling.

If you enjoy the stories, buy the Captain a cuppa coffee at The Grounds for Divorce. Don’t worry about a tip for Lucinda, everyone’s favorite server. I’ve got it covered.

Buy the Captain a Cuppa

Hit the Subscribe button and each new story will be delivered directly to your In-Box via the magic of email. It doesn’t cost you anything, and you never miss a story. Lord willing and the creek don’t rise, there is a new story added every single day.

Every car is a story. Not all of them are true.

53 responses to “Home”

  1. Ajax Avatar
    Ajax

    I just found this HOME section. Read all the postings. 2023, 2024, 2025, 2026 – but not in order. It kinda doesn’t make sense.

    And #1000 coming soon. How does anyone know the number?

    I’m really confused. Frozen sorta, not dazed, but confused. Kinda like looking on the bottom of a desktop in the Fighting Knives high school.
    Why am I looking under this desktop? I guess high school boys have different diversions!

    Reply
    1. Cornfieldave Avatar
      Cornfieldave

      Ajax,
      Re the Order; Original comments will align to the left margin while replies to any comment will be indented ‘one TAB’ under the comment to which it replies. Original comment accrue from the bottom up and replies water fall downward from the originals.
      Re the Count; The general rule is ten stories per page with the oldest stories rolling to the highest numbered page. Count the number of stories available on the highest numbered page of the Stories Section and let it equal ‘X’. Multiply the next highest number of pages times the number of stories per page and let it equal ‘Y’. X + Y = The number.
      Re the Desktops; High School boys looked under the desktops for new graffiti because the tops were sanded off and resealed every summer by the maintenance crew and kids attending summer school.

      Reply
      1. Ajax Avatar
        Ajax

        I’ve done fairly well in life (for a person from the 5th Ward), but I did fail Algebra I in Jr. Hi. – this is in reply to your comment about the Captain’s “story numbering sequence!” But, Thanks!!

        Reply
  2. Rex Fox Avatar
    Rex Fox

    Another great story line Captain. As the chapters progressed, I wondered if we’d be hearing about the potential problems in the future ( e.g. asbestos underwear). Your wrap up story did not disappoint. Thank you very much.
    RexFox

    Reply
  3. jamesbuchanan9cb3591ae9 Avatar
    jamesbuchanan9cb3591ae9

    Ah this blog! The captain has redrawn the rhumb line and i am changing my course to I-10 and ports west.

    Reply
    1. The Captain Avatar
      The Captain

      Are you here yet? I’ve been looking all over.

      Reply
  4. HairlessB29 Avatar
    HairlessB29

    “Monday, April 1st starts the latest seven day series . . . THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS. (I asked for Brother Bob’s help on this but he could only name three of them.) Should be good, nonetheless.”

    Jeez, Captain, you coulda asked me, as I regularly review and update my to-do list for just that sort of thing. Actually, I have become rather lazy in this regard. In a sort of personal shorthand, I’ve come to regard the SEVEN DEADLY SINS as “Sunday through Saturday.”

    Reply
    1. The Captain Avatar
      The Captain

      I’m polishing up the piece on the sin of Sloth. Send me everything you’ve got.

      Reply
  5. Harvey Avatar
    Harvey

    Is it true that a WAH auction on Bring a Trailer is where your comment/short story was flagged off?

    Reply
    1. The Captain Avatar
      The Captain

      Certainly a possibility, but you’d have to provide more information for me to positively confirm or deny.

      Reply
  6. David Fleming Avatar
    David Fleming

    By my count, you have posted 102 stories to your blog and I have enjoyed every one of them. If there are more I haven’t seen because I am not a subscriber it is my loss, but thank you for the smiles so far; congratulations are still in order. Thanks, Cap!

    Reply
    1. The Captain Avatar
      The Captain

      Cornfield Dave: Thanks for taking the time to offer congratulations on the blog thus far. You are correct in your math, Story #103 went live this morning at 6:00 AM. I gave some thought to making a Big Deal out of #100, but then thought better of it. It’s like my football coach at Jim Bowie High School (“Home of the Fightin’ Knives”) used to say, “If you’re going to make a celebration of getting into the end zone, it just says you didn’t expect to be good enough to get there in the first place. Hand the ball to the ref and get back to the huddle.” Despite some of the awkward ways he looked at us in the showers, the man knew sports psychology. And football, too. The Knives never won district again after his arrest.

      It’s been a fun journey so far. Lots of subscribers. Nearing 20,000 hits on the site, another 15,000 reads from people getting their story delivered via email to them every morning. I had no expectations when I went live with the concept, and every one of those has been met.

      When I started, there were two original stories per week and four that had originally appeared on Bring a Trailer. That shifted to about half and half in early July. In August, it’ll be moving to four out of every six per week being brand new content. After that, who knows?

      I always appreciate the commentary that comes with responses to the stories. It’s good to see more detailed replies rather than just numbers spit out on who’s reading each tale and how often. @HairlessB29 has said I have a gift for the absurd. I guess any gift is better than no gift at all.

      Again, thanks for the shout out. Share the site with someone you think might get a chuckle out of the auto-related goings-on in and around Fort Stockton every morning over their cup of Folgers. There’s always an open chair at the table over at The Grounds for Divorce. And like you say, the coffee tastes a little better out of a Captain My Captain mug.

      Reply
      1. Cornfieldave Avatar
        Cornfieldave

        I’ve been kinda busy with fence row clearing, taxes, doctor appointments etc and, I kinda lost count, but guess I’m near a week behind. So I counted and you’ve been kinda busy, too. This morning’s segment should be exactly 700 for you. Congratulations, that feat is nothing to sneeze at. While the 700 Club was never my cup of tea, I’m looking forward to catching up with all of Fort Stockton’s latest news and views fit to print.

        Reply
        1. The Captain Avatar
          The Captain

          You are, in fact correct. Hit the Big Seven-Double-Oh on the story count. (And they said it wouldn’t last!) Didn’t want to make too big a deal about it, although Lucinda put some kind of a poster written in Sharpie on the back of an old menu up on the window over at the Grounds for Divorce. I think she just did it to embarrass me, but I also got a free piece of strawberry rhubarb pie in the deal. So there’s that. Thankfully nobody painted anything celebratory on the windshield of the Fairlane 500. That would be too much attention to draw driving around Fort Stockton.

          So far you’re the only one that’s noticed. We’ll let that sleeping dog lie. Until we don’t.

          Reply
          1. cornfieldave Avatar
            cornfieldave

            Today was #777. Quite an auspicious number. You are on a roll!
            But then, you are The Captain.

            George the resident sleeping dog, probably woke up this morning thinking it was #5439 for him then “I smell bacoooonSQUIRREL!?!”

            Reply
            1. The Captain Avatar
              The Captain

              You missed one. It’s #778. But who’s counting?

          2. Cornfieldave Avatar
            Cornfieldave

            #1000 in about 12 hours…

            “But who’s counting?”

            Reply
            1. The Captain Avatar
              The Captain

              #1000 isn’t until February 3rd. Trust me.

          3. Cornfieldave Avatar
            Cornfieldave

            My Middle School Math teacher, Mrs Ryan (RIP), would be appalled and staring holes in the ceiling above my head at such a gross inaccuracy (i.e. 1%). My mother-in-law (RIP), also a former math teacher would tell me I should have shown my work rather than hazard a late night guess. That said there is a silver lining.
            I’ve re-requested a Dickinson Blvd “Closure Permit for Parade” from our mercurial Mayor. It was denied originally without explanation. Good thing I got the dates wrong, eh? This time, I signed away any concession proceeds during your celebratory promenade and feel it will be approved now for the correct date. I’ve requested Marty to bring some of his N.O. buds to lead the procession and set the pace, followed by the Mayor, you and Buttercup as the guests of honor. The JBHS Jazz Ensemble will bring up the rear. See you next Tuesday.

            Reply
  7. The Captain Avatar
    The Captain

    Looks like you’ve summed it up perfectly.

    Reply
  8. Kiwiinaussie Avatar
    Kiwiinaussie

    Hi Capt’ well I found the site of the Blog, very impressive! even for us old diggers down under. look forward to more banter at the GDF with all the crew.

    Reply
    1. The Captain Avatar
      The Captain

      I was afraid all the words would read backwards on the other side of the equator, never really sure how that worked. Glad you found the blog and look forward top hearing more from Down Under in the future.

      Reply
  9. NedYoung Avatar
    NedYoung

    Captain, nice to finally locate this. Congratulations on your venture. I already see many of your regular GFD fans on here. I’m looking forward to all of your great humor with fewer restrictions. NY

    Reply
    1. The Captain Avatar
      The Captain

      Welcome aboard!

      Reply
  10. HairlessB29 Avatar
    HairlessB29

    Cap’n — Fulsome kudos and congrats on your new venture. Looking forward to the unexpurgated CMC on his very own “channel.”

    Say, maybe you can help me out here. Within hours of my signing up for a subscription to your blog yesterday, Dominos delivered 142 pepperoni pizzas to my door. An “escort for hire” who wore a fetching sash that announced her as “Miss Positraction” showed up about 11:00PM and became quite miffed when I tried to explain that there must be some mistake. She kept saying “Don’t you want to give me a tip?” It took hours, but I finally wore her down and she left quietly with a couple spare pizzas in hand. A half-hour later, I was troubled to find the girl’s California DMV learner’s permit stuck between the cushions of the BarcaLounger. She really looked, well, older.

    Received a nice note from Xhamster thanking me for my prepaid lifetime membership on their porn site, but politely advised me that the amateur video I submitted around 4:00 AM showing me and Miss Positraction far exceeded nearly every standard of propriety they’ve ever enacted, and to expect a visit from the “authorities” soon. I wasn’t at all sure what they were talking about. Around mid-morning, I received an email from Fidelity Wealth Management confirming the closure of my IRA following the transfer of all funds into the offshore account of someone named Hunter Biden.

    Finally, Bring a Trailer emailed to congratulate me for my winning bids on two Ferraris, a Porsche and a Studebaker Lark Station Wagon, but there was a problem with my credit card and to please get in touch. So my question is, do you think Bring a Trailer might possibly ban me from further participation in the BaTmosphere? I sure don’t want any problems with them! In the meantime, please don’t share my personal information on-line; I’ve heard some people have had some real bad experiences along these lines. Those cookies can get you in big trouble.

    Reply
    1. The Captain Avatar
      The Captain

      Sounds like everything is working just the way it was configured. Buy a mug and everything goes back to normal. Except the BarcaLounger. You’re going to need a new one of those.

      Reply
  11. Bosshoss3406pack Avatar
    Bosshoss3406pack

    Congrats Capt’n
    You are Truly Talented and an inspiration of sorts to me, a Fledgling Writer.
    Writing to me is like Extemporaneous Bull Ship
    Coming out of a Pencil instead of My Mouth.
    I usually do my Best Work when I’m in the Shower but,
    My DadGum Notebook Keeps getting Soaked.
    Be Well, Sir and Break a Lead…

    Reply
    1. The Captain Avatar
      The Captain

      Congrats on the sale of your RAM, BH340; it was stunning first auction. Keep your laptop out of the shower and your foot off the brake. See you at the GFD.

      Reply
      1. Bosshoss3406pack Avatar
        Bosshoss3406pack

        Roger That, Sir…

        Reply
  12. Capt_Nemo Avatar
    Capt_Nemo

    Congrats, Captain, on launching your own ship (or blog)! Luckily, I gave up on the working thing a while back so having another site to check out and spend time on every day doesn’t interfere with my productivity. Very much, anyway.

    Look forward to reading more goings on from Fort Stockton, without some grumpy voices questioning why you are interrupting an auction. Those of us who appreciate your offbeat humor now have a place to gather and chew the fat, or at least have a cuppa.

    Reply
    1. The Captain Avatar
      The Captain

      Welcome aboard. My grandpa, Pappy Cappy, always used to say, “Not everyone understands your calling. It wasn’t a conference call.” Or maybe that was Pastor Peterson. Anyway hope the time you spend here isn’t wasted.

      Reply
      1. Capt_Nemo Avatar
        Capt_Nemo

        Time spent doing what you enjoy is never wasted. To some people’s minds, yes, but to mine….

        Reply
  13. rapple Avatar
    rapple

    It was only a matter of time before you branched out beyond the confines of BaT Legendary Commentor status. I look forward to reading more of the life and times of those who pass in and out of Ft. Stockton. I’ll continue enjoying your stories until, inevitably, Netflix producers approach you with a long running series based on your memorable characters.
    Happy motoring!

    Reply
    1. The Captain Avatar
      The Captain

      Appreciate the kind words and hope you enjoy what you find on the site. Gotta run, the phone is ringing’. Could it be . . .

      Reply
  14. Bubba RoundHeadlights Avatar
    Bubba RoundHeadlights

    Congratulations Captain on your maiden voyage. Hope the seas will bring smooth sailing for cast and crew. I’d buy you a cuppa joe, but don’t want to see your youthful growth stunted. Sure hope that this site is sanctioned by the authorities. As you well know, all blogs have stories. Only some are true.

    Reply
    1. The Captain Avatar
      The Captain

      Bubba, they taught me in high school that smooth seas never made a skilled sailor. But, then again, my high school was so small that Driver’s Education and Sex Education classes were held in the same car. That’s probably what stunted my growth, not the coffee.

      Reply
  15. Raphaël Bertolus (dominator) Avatar
    Raphaël Bertolus (dominator)

    Congratulation Cap!
    We finally have a place to meet and take this relationship to the next level.
    Be well,
    Raphaël (dominator)

    Reply
    1. The Captain Avatar
      The Captain

      Hang on while I grab a pack of cigarettes, a bottle of wine, and a baguette. I’ll meet you in the parking lot next to the Isetta.

      Reply
  16. Ranchero65 Avatar
    Ranchero65

    I’m aboard…hopefully this is more than a 3 hour cruise.

    Reply
    1. The Captain Avatar
      The Captain

      Now you’ve got me wondering. And looking around for Mary Ann and Ginger.

      Reply
  17. HAN2014 Avatar
    HAN2014

    Thought I left a post earlier, so here to try again. Glad to buy the Cap’n a cuppa joe and can’t wait to get the mug!

    Reply
    1. The Captain Avatar
      The Captain

      We’re all new to this whole blog thing. It’s not as easy as advanced calculus. It’ll all be second nature by the time the Final rolls around. (Is this going to be on the test?)

      Reply
  18. HAN2014 Avatar
    HAN2014

    Wow, not sure the wife will be too happy (at least I’m not chasing women!), but this will be fun! About to order up a Captain’s mug, and can’t wait to see what comes next!

    Reply
    1. The Captain Avatar
      The Captain

      “At least I’m not chasing women” is rarely the best argument to be made. At least not around the Grounds for Divorce as Lucinda’s refilling your cup.

      Reply
  19. valiantjim Avatar
    valiantjim

    My first blog subscription, fumbling around. Testing, testing, one, two, three, can you hear me now? Lead on CaptainMyCaptain…

    Reply
    1. The Captain Avatar
      The Captain

      I hear you Jim. Valiant effort on your part.

      Reply
  20. Jim Avatar
    Jim

    I’ve wondered for awhile now if it’s too familiar to call on “Lucy”? You go first…

    Reply
    1. The Captain Avatar
      The Captain

      I hate being first. Too much pressure.

      Reply
  21. Bryan Dickerson Avatar
    Bryan Dickerson

    I halfway expected you were pullin’ our chain, but you weren’t. In the words of Madeline Kahn – “It’s twu, it’s twu!” Looks like the Capn’s got his own ship now…well, a dinghy at least ;^)
    Please tell me I’m within the first 10 commenters. This is great, man – congratulations!

    Reply
    1. The Captain Avatar
      The Captain

      Only took two comments for a reference to my dinghy to pop up. Well, I guess we should all just be glad any time our dinghy still pops up. Welcome aboard.

      Reply
      1. Bryan Dickerson Avatar
        Bryan Dickerson

        What ever floats yer boat, Cap’n ;^)

        Reply
  22. Joseph Patrick Northrop Avatar
    Joseph Patrick Northrop

    Great to see you here, and a pleasure to offer you a little lunch, and a tip for Lucinda. Only thing better would be to join you next time I’m in Ft Stockton! Cheers! joeinbcs

    Reply
    1. The Captain Avatar
      The Captain

      If I’m not at The Grounds for Divorce, check the Rusty Hammer Hardware Store. It’s usually one or the other. If all else fails, check the Lucky Lady, far end of the bar. Thanks for lunch, it was a treat.

      Reply

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