I get asked from time to time, “How come I can’t find any of the places on the Google-Maps you talk about in your stories?”  Or, occasionally, I get “Was driving through town and wanted to stop at The Grounds for Divorce and buy you a cup off coffee.  Maybe meet Lucinda.  But I couldn’t find it!”

Funny story.  A while back the van with the big camera on top of it from the Google came to Fort Stockton and started doing its thing.  Caused a stir, but then a lot of things do here that folks in Dallas or Austin just laugh off cause they’ve seen damn near everything.  The crowd at the Dairy Twin waved, stuck their tongue, or gave it the finger depending on their general age group and overall disposition.  Trixie at the Klip-N-Dye did all three, but that’s just her.

Anyway, the  thing drives by the Rusty Hammer Hardware Store just as Buck and Leon are cleaning their guns, getting ready to go see if they couldn’t bag a few feral hogs that’d been tearin’ up the okra garden out at the Hobbs place.  Buck looks up, sees the Google contraption driving by slowly out front, and thinks it’s some kind of foreign intelligence gathering situation.  (Don’t focus too much on the irony of a foreign government looking for intelligence in Fort Stockton.  It’s not important to the story.) 

So Buck being the more patriotic of the two (the NRA sticker ticker takes up darn near the whole back window of his Silverado) runs out to the front porch of the hardware store, lowers his semi-automatic pump action shotgun and fires in the direction of the Google.  Missed it by a mile, which helps explain why feral hogs have become such a problem.  But it was enough to spook the Google and he hit the gas in the van and headed back out of town like he’d just seen Jesus and wasn’t ready.  As far as anyone knows, they haven’t been back and don’t plan to be.

So if you find yourself in town and want to check out some sites, you’re going to have to eyeball it rather than using some type of device that could be killing brain cells.  Just like we did it when we were young.

I’m working out arrangements with Lucinda and the Chamber of Commerce to offer guided tours around town in the Edsel Bermuda, Lucinda behind the wheel, me in the way-back sharing history and offering photo-ops and selfies with those willing to be a part of the tour.  (I’ve hit a roadblock with Chad over at the Piggly Wiggly over concessions, but stay tuned.  It could still happen.)

In the meantime, the following will help you get a visual.  Be on the look out.  But for goodness sakes, watch out for the school zones.  Officer Phil will slap your ass with a citation faster than you can slap it with a wad of Charmin after Mexican Fiesta Night over at the K-Bob’s.

I’m gonna trust you can name each of the sites shown above. If not, you haven’t read enough of the Captain’s stories. Should be enough to help get you through town. If not through town, then through a few more stories.