Okay, fine. No argument that this is an incredible car, with a magnificent history, photographed through the lens of God’s Hawkeye Brownie. Throw in the connection to Hitchcock, Tippi Hedren, and The Birds, and it takes it up a notch or two because, Damn.

And I’m going to concede that the British can do certain things just better than we can.  Like the way they name their cars.  I mean it just sounds a whole lot classier to say ‘Drophead Coupe’ than it does ‘ragtop’, like we would generally refer to cars whose tops easily came off.  (If only Tippe Hedren had been a drophead coupe.)  They even put that thing over the ‘e’ in ‘Coupe’ to give it a higher level of class.  Damn British, amazing what they can get by with.

And then, with this particular example, it was photographed like it was just outside the Garden of Eden at sunup on the morning of the Eighth Day, where God had parked it as a surprise to Adam and Eve.  “Holy moly,” Adam would have said.  “And I thought Eve was a treat,” God giving him a knowing nod and a wink.

“This didn’t even cost you a rib!” The Almighty would have said.  “I made the outside of it as creamy as Eve’s complexion.  The inside of it the color of Fresh Apple Red.  Don’t get any ideas!”  Then they’d both have a good laugh because only one of them knew how that was all going to end.  

As they walked around the Aston, talking in whispers so as to not wake up Eve who was exhausted from the whole Creation thing and wanted to sleep in, God would say, “Wait till your naughty bits slide across that kid-glove leather.  Next best thing to Eve, not going to lie!”

He’d point over to the the tree next to the apple tree, the big walnut one he’d hacked the biggest limb off of, just to craft the dash and steering wheel.  “Made it myself,” He’d tell Adam.  “Finest wood you’ll ever wrap your hands around.”  Adam would look away sheepishly, not sure exactly just what all God might be aware of.

The reality, though, is that God didn’t craft this masterpiece, the British did. And while they have proven to be great at some things, like crafting Aston Martins and brewing tea, there are any number of things where they fall way short of the mark. Like winning World Wars on their own. Or keeping their princes in line. Or food.

Is it even possible that the country that developed this 1954 Aston Martin DB/2 Drophead Coupe is the same one that eats baked beans on toast for breakfast?  What’s up with that?

In fact, what’s up with British ‘cuisine’ in general?  I mean sure, “British Motor Industry Trust Certificate” sounds a helluva lot better than “Marti Report”, but they still have a diet that consists mainly of food that, if served in Texas, would be thrown out.  In fact, it’d be thrown out in such a way to be sure the dogs couldn’t get it because we think way too highly of our dogs to let them eat that stuff here in the Lone Star State.

Think I’m being a little over the top on this point?  

Allow me to, if I may, present Exhibit A to make my point. In the video below, you can witness two objective young lads from England being treated to Texas barbecue for the very first time. See their reactions. Watch the look on their faces. Note the tone in their voices and try to get beyond that whole British accent thing. (Accents, in general, are overrated unless they’re southern.)

Is the 1954 Aston Martin DB/2 Drophead Coupe a thing of beauty? Of course. But how does it stack up to the way God showed Texans how to smoke meats and put together sides that melt in your mouth and are good enough to slap your mama to get second helpings? Best ribs since God borrowed one from Adam to make him a special little surprise.