“Hard to believe these were controversial when they were new,” New Guy said.  He seemed to be in kind of a reflective mood.  Like he was longing for something he’d never get back.

Rusty Hammer, reading the morning news from his iPad, noted that the US is being invaded by the spotted lanternfly, a bug native to China that somehow made its way to our eastern shores ten years ago and is slowly working its way west.  “They say these things can suck the sap right out of trees,” he noted while Lucinda filled up his CMC mug with some fresh coffee.  “This says they could eventually pose a threat to the plants that grow wine grapes and beer hops.  They’re working around the clock to come up with a way to eradicate them, but nothing has proven useful so far.”

Everyone looked to Pastor Peterson for some words of biblical wisdom, but he seemed lost in his own thoughts.

“I think we face a bigger threat than some kind of bug from China right here in Fort Stockton,” Rex Hall, from Rex Hall Drug, said.  “This whole thing with Mayor Goodman is getting ridiculous.  Doesn’t make any sense folks are supporting his reelection when he’s facing charges.  I mean the man is selling T-Shirts featuring his mug shot over at the Piggly Wiggly.  Just doesn’t make sense.”

Lucinda stood next to the table and brushed the hair off her face and put it back behind one ear.  “Had a group of young women in here yesterday, right after you guys all left.  ‘New Mothers / New Methods’ they called themselves.” She looked over her shoulder and lowered her voice, wanting to make sure she was being discreet.  “They were swapping recipes for making cheese out of their own breast milk.”  We all looked at each other with a look of disgust.  Except for New Guy.  He seemed to be intrigued.  “One of them said she couldn’t stay long, she had to get back to the placenta she had in the crock pot at home.”

I threw up a little bit in my mouth.  New Guy said, “It might not be bad with the cheese.”

Rusty steered the conversation back towards the Chrysler Airflow Sedan.  “This thing was pretty radical for its time, too.  First car to use wind tunnel testing, safety glass in all the windows.  Even had all-steel construction, a first for back then.”

“See, not all change is bad,” Sister Thelma observed.  That’s one of the things about Sister Thelma you just have to appreciate.  You could drop her right into the middle of a room full of poop and she’d start looking for the pony.

“True,” Rusty said.  “But it’s slow to be embraced.  After all, they only made 4,370 of these.  And it was the last year they made them at all.”

“Wonder what kind of seasonings go best with placenta?” New Guy said.  Once it came out of his mouth, he seemed to regret not keeping that question to himself.

About then, Gus from Grady’s Honest Auto Service walked in.  “Any ‘a you boys got a minute to follow me over to Our Lady of Immeasurable Concern?  I need to get Sadie’s Buick Electra back to her before school’s over.”  

“It’s a Mercury Grand Marquis,” Sister Thelma said.  Remembering Gus wasn’t allowed within a thousand feet of a school, she offered to follow him over to the school and then take him back to the shop after he dropped off the Grand Marquis.

“There goes the voice of reason,” I said as she followed Gus out the front door and towards Sadie’s two toned Grand Marquis.

“Do you really think those bugs from China will make it all the way to Texas?” Lucinda asked.

“The virus that caused COVID made it all the way around the world in just a few months,” Rusty said.  “The little bastards could be here by the end of football season.”

“If they attack the grapes that make wine and the hops that make beer, life as we know it could completely change!” she observed.

“The Airflow completely changed cars,” Rusty said.

“I wonder if you can even buy placenta, or if you have to know someone,” New Guy said.

“I’m going to go follow Sadie’s Grand Marquis back to school and then trail behind Sister Thelma as she takes Gus back to the garage,” Rusty said.  “Gus has always made me kind of nervous.”

“Sister Thelma can take care of herself,” New Guy said.  “She always has.

“Better safe than sorry,” New Guy shot back.  “We look after our own here in Fort Stockton.”

An hour later, Sister Thelma and New Guy both walked back through the front door at the Grounds for Divorce.  They looked a little put out.  Lucinda put fresh CMC mugs down on the table for them.

“You could hear that Mercury misfiring the whole way back to Our Lady,” Sister Thelma said.  “The thing runs worse than it ever did before she took it to Gus.  I took Gus back to his shop then had New Guy follow me over to Frontier Ford to give their service department a shot at fixing it.  And maybe they can get all those bugs off the windshield.  Never seen so many.  And they don’t look like any I’ve ever seen around here before.”  She looked over at New Guy.  “And where’d you go after I dropped Gus off?  I lost you.”

“Had to stop off at the maternity ward over Fort Stockton Memorial Hospital and then the Piggly Wiggly on my way back,” he said.  “He threw something wrapped in white butcher paper on the table and slid it over toward Lucinda.  “Take this back to Delgado and have him throw it on the grill.”

We all looked in his direction.  “Surely you didn’t . . .” Sister Thelma said.

As her voice trailed off, we noticed New Guy had changed clothes.  He was wearing a Mayor Goodman Mugshot  T-Shirt.