Officer Emory, one of the guards over at the Fort Stockton Correctional Facility for Women, bought one of these brand new off the lot at Frontier Ford (“Home of the Straight Shootin’ Deal”) back in the day. Having never been married, he wanted a vehicle that he could drive over to Lake Leon whenever he wanted to fish, or as far away as Comanche for deer season, where his brother had a lease. The Econoline was comfortable enough to camp out of for a few days at a time; the roof was big enough to strap a twelve point buck on top and haul it all the way back to town to be dressed out over at Jo-Ed’s Meat Processing & Floral Shop.
He’s the same guard who used to make the rounds every fall to all the local schools and deliver the ‘Scared Straight’ presentations. Folks liked Officer Emory and felt like he was doing his part to keep southwest Texas safe from the scourge of immorality and crime that was constantly making its way over the border from Oklahoma.
Because of his love for the outdoors, no one even paid any attention when he sent off to Calthorp Travel Top Industries and ordered a conversion kit for the top of the pale blue Ford, making it even more comfortable for longer trips. Purchasing the skill-saw, attaching hardware, and a dozen tubes of sealant over at the Rusty Hammer Hardware Store, Emory was able to install the kit over a long weekend under the carport of his modest two bedroom home on South Justice Avenue, not far from the prison.
He was a lot more subtle when it came time to head over to Earl’s Salvage Yard and Formal Wear and swap out the anemic power plant that had come stock in the Econoline with a 5.7 liter LS1 V8 reportedly taken out of the ’99 Firebird the McIntyre kid had totaled the previous fall. He’d been driving under the influence after the Homecoming Game against Marfa, where he’d dropped the game winning pass in the end zone, even though the closest defender was about twenty yards away and the ball had hit him right in the numbers on his jersey. Luckily, the kid wasn’t hurt, but was cut from the team, nonetheless. It was the Homecoming Game, for gosh sakes.
Anyway, it was completely under the radar that Officer Emory had converted the humble Econoline van into something that could outrun a scalded dog, especially when he mounted a set of 185/60 Douglas All Seasons on a set of bitchin’ black steelies so it handled better than a 911/911 (a Porsche Emergency Response Vehicle).
Of course, hindsight is 20/20.
It was only after ‘The Event’ that it was clear to everyone in Pecos county just what had been taking place. Seems that Officer Emory had succumbed to the irresistible wiles of Donna Dugan, the most notorious inmate at FSCFW. Donna was serving a 35-to-life sentence for the murder of her third husband. (Even the Stockton Telegram-Dispatch had refused to print some of the more gruesome details that came out during the trial.) Suffice it to say the former Mrs. Dugan earned her nickname in the press, “The Wicked Widow from Waco” not just for her striking looks, but for her unsurpassed capacity for crimes of passion.
By the time the prison knew they were gone, Officer Emory and Mrs. Dugan were over the Mexican border and already dining on a feast of guano del maguey at the foothills of the Sierra de Picachos, Mrs. Dugan showing her extreme gratitude afterwards. Mexican authorities eventually found The Wicked Widow from Waco and the Ford Econoline. The remains of Officer Emory were recovered quite some time after that, the smile still frozen on his face.
