’Twas the night before the auction
And in my robe standing out in my garage
I took out my thin leather wallet
And longingly gave it a little massage.

The children were nestled strong in their beds,
Raiding their college fund danced in my head.
Like a ship searching for a new sailor
I hoped for my dream car on Bring a Trailer.

Ma in her kerchief, me with my 401K
Trying to decide if it would be okay
To bid on something so dear to my heart
Maybe even selling a vital body part.

Out in the driveway there arose such a clatter
I rushed outside to see what was the matter.
Away to the street I flew in a flash
Though I’d just witnessed Kevin Hart’s crash.

What to my wondering eyes should appear?
A big red sleigh with eight tiny reindeer.
I gazed inside and said, “What the heck?”
I spied custom floor mats from WeatherTech.

I threw back my head, “Hey, Santa what’s up?”
He rubbed his belly, tossing me a phone cup.
More rapid than a Shelby his coursers came
Whistling out loud and calling them by name.

“Now Porsche, now Aston, Bentley and ‘Vette
To the top of the roof it is now time to get.
On Comet, on Bobcat, Galaxie and Ranchero
Now’s the time you can all be a hero.”

“Help me stuff this 300 SL down the fireplace
Sit back and watch the smile on his face.”
Then a miracle likes of which had never been
This ’57 Mercedes wound up in my den.

The fact I couldn’t drive it I gave not a damn
’Twas enough to just sit and wave to the fam
While fake driving and inhaling the aroma of leather
Never having to worry about it seeing the weather.

Santa sprang to his team giving a whistle
Away they all flew like the down on a thistle.
I heard him explain driving off into the night,
This is only a dream but then, that’s alright.

You’ve had a taste of the other half’s life
Treasure your old Ford and sweet little wife.
Look forward your time spent in heaven
Where the cars are all roadsters from ’57.

Happy Holidays from those of us who make the Other Half possible.