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Decent turnout at the Grounds for Divorce this morning.  Most people were in pretty good spirits, at least as good of spirits as people who live in Fort Stockton can be.

Lucinda and Delgado seemed to be a little snippy with each other, like maybe there was tension in the Airstream, but couples go through that occasionally, I guess.  Or it may have just been that New Guy was there and he puts a lot of folks on edge.

Anyway, the discussion was fairly routine around the table as we talked about cars and listings on Bring a Trailer, and the way the Mud Hens can’t seem to catch a break with their current pitching rotation.  That’s when Rex Hall, the pharmacist here in town and owner of Rex Hall Drug, brought up some random topic that had nothing to do with anything any of us were talking about.

“Gympie Gympie, also known as the suicide plant, is known to drive people insane. This notorious Australian plant is one of the world’s most poisonous plants, and those nettle-like stingers pack a punch.,” he said.  Even showed everybody a picture of the plant, as though we might not take him at his word.

“The pain is described as being burnt with acid and getting electrocuted at the same time.”  Rex continued on.  “The tiny hairs that cover the leaves are described as being like little hypodermic needles, which embed themselves deep into your skin before injecting you with a neurotoxin.”

We all nodded and looked at each, none of us sure exactly where Rex was going with this whole thing, or what the point was.  About then, Rusty Hammer from the hardware store wandered in and made his way to the table.  The Bald Bomber looked down and complimented him on his new alligator shoes.  Lucinda was the first one to point out that he was barefoot.

“The pain is said to last for weeks, even months and in some cases years. The little hypodermic stingers sink deep into the skin, and it’s really difficult to remove them. The plant was first discovered in 1886 when a road surveyor’s horse got stung by the plant, went mad and died two hours later.”  Rex completely ignored the whole situation with Rusty’s feet, though the rest of us were struggling to get past it.  “The embedded hairs can stay in the skin for up to a year and release a toxin during triggering events like touching the affected area, pouring water on the area, or even a temperature change. Once it releases the neurotoxin, a severe burning sensation will increase in intensity for about 30 minutes, and it could last for weeks.”

Lucinda was filling up everyone’s CMC bus with fresh Folgers right off the Bunn-O-Matic  Even she seemed to be clueless as to what in the heck Rex was talking about.

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“A British officer is said to have committed suicide after he mistakenly used a leaf as toilet paper causing him to go insane from the pain before shooting himself in the head.”  Rex looked off in the distance, towards the courthouse square.  He seemed reflective.  Almost like he was having a hard time finishing exactly what it was that he wanted to say.  He seemed to be a little choked up.  “The hairs are so small the skin will grow over them, making it almost impossible to remove them. The best treatment for it is to use acid to remove layers of skin to expose the needles and then plucking them out.”

We all looked around the table at each other.  Even Benard Marks shifted in his chair, and he is one who seldom is put off, considering his upbringing and all.

Rex looked back at us.  “Do you know that scene in The Sound of Music?  The one with Julie Andrews singing on top of the mountain, twirling around, arms spread wide-open as she belts out the tune?”

We looked at each and nodded.

Rex put his iPad on the table, opened to a Bring a Trailer listing for a 1961 Lincoln Continental convertible.  He shoved it to the middle of the table in an apparent state of disgust.  “Whoever did the modifications to this Lincoln Continental should be taken to the top of a mountain just like that one, but the sides of which are completely overgrown with Gympie-Gympie.  He should be stripped down to his birthday suit.  His ankles tied.  His wrists tied behind him.  And rolled down the entire mountain.”

To each his own, I guess.  But apparently Rex doesn’t think slab-sided Lincolns should be modified.  Guessing he’s never seen Animal House.

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