Clive Clarendon made a fortune when oil was discovered on his emu ranch and he sold out to a Venezuelan cartel for an amount that was rumored to be in excess of fifty million Benjamins.
Within a week of signing the papers he hosted one last barbecue and there wasn’t an emu in sight. (They taste just like chicken.) At the end of the evening he gave everyone that had been invited a pair of custom made western boots. (They wear just like ostrich.)
Word has it he invested most of the money in Apple stock, which is ironic since he doesn’t own a computer and still uses a flip-phone. Go figure.
What isn’t a rumor, however, is the way he fueled his dual passions for cars and 70s celebrities. He purchased the long shuttered Fort Stockton Roller Rink located just down the street from Our Lady of Immeasurable Concern and is turning it into ‘The Almost Famous Auto Museum’.
He immediately began buying cars of special interest and provenance. This Imperial would fit right in, having been originally purchased by Richard Carpenter of the vocal duo The Carpenters, reportedly for use by his parents Harold and Agnes Carpenter. The car is finished in black over a matching leather interior, and power is from a 440ci V8 paired with a three-speed automatic transmission. Additional equipment includes power windows, locks, and seats as well as four-wheel disc brakes, automatic climate control, and cruise control.
“Imperial was Chrysler’s high-end division between 1955 and 1975, and this final-year Crown Coupe is finished in black with ivory pinstripes and color-matched pebble vinyl on a section of the roof. Brightwork includes the bumpers, mirrors, wheel arch and rocker panel trim, and badging,” Clive explained as he showed me the Imperial for the very first time. I thought he sounded a little unemotional about the car, as though he was writing it up for Bring a Trailer rather than getting it ready to show to a car-hungry public. “The cabin features black leather upholstery with button-tufted cushions as well as fold-down armrests on the front and rear bench seats. Amenities include power-adjustable front seats, electric windows and locks, an AM/FM stereo with a search tuner and power antenna, cruise control, automatic rear ride height adjustment, a power-operated remote trunk release, a rolling-numbers digital clock, and Autotemp II automatic climate control.”
I yawned and asked him about some of the other cars in the collection.
Clive’s very first acquisition was a lavender and white 1956 Dodge le Femme coupe that had originally been purchased by Helen Reddy for her father. (There may have been issues.)
Parked right next to it is a special 1975 Ford Pinto that had been custom crafted on the orders of Henry Ford II with a Continental Mark IV interior as a divorce gift for his second wife. It was engineered to only run if the gas tank was full and its brakes could only be described as ‘very touchy’.
Further down from the Pinto is a stock 1977 Monte Carlo that was given as a gift by John Travolta to his tailor who crafted the iconic white suit he had worn in ‘Saturday Night Fever’. When asked why he hadn’t given his tailor a Cadillac instead of a Chevy, he said, “It was a suit, not a wardrobe.”
The only display in the museum that features two similar cars is the one with two Oldsmobile Cutlasses that Diana Ross gave her former singing act partners. They were both loaded Supremes. It was the least she could do.
There is just one display with a political theme. It has a ’76 Jimmy crushing a ’74 Ford. The personalized plate on the Jimmy says ‘PEANUT”, that on the Ford says ‘PARDON’. Each is on permanent loan from a Presidential Library.
The pride and joy of the collection so far is the 1960 Ford Falcon sedan that was a gift from Harrison Ford to George Lucas soon after the debut of ‘Star Wars’ in 1977. The glove box door was signed (in Carroll Shelby fashion) by Harrison with an inscription that reads, ”It’s not a Millennium, but it’s a Falcon. From your own personal Ford.”
I’ve offered Clive the opportunity to display the Ford Fairlane 500. He stressed the ‘Celebrity’ aspect of the collection as he pointed to the sign that was being installed out by the road directing traffic to the converted roller rink. Apparently local celebrities, even minor ones, aren’t really what he’s looking for.
As I headed out to the parking lot, Clive noted as he rubbed some Tire-Shine on the 15″ American Classic wide-whitewall tires, “You know, if Mama Cass had just shared that ham sandwich with Karen Carpenter, they’d both still be alive today.”
One response to “THE CLIVE CLARENDON CELEBRITY CAR COLLECTION”
Well, if we could only have Mama Cass Elliot and Karen Carpenter for a short time, I’m glad we have Ella James, Kaz Hawkins, & Winona Judd for Cass and, Anne Lennox, Allison Krause, Bonnie Raitt, & Emmy Lou Harris for Karen.
I’d love to hear them all while cruising in that Imperial rolling amphitheater. However, it’s optional ‘$347 R38 Radio-AM/FM Stereo Radio w/search tuner’ package is going to need a serious upgrade to be fully appreciated.