---

The first chapter of a seven part series that will run all week.

---

Liz and Dick.  Camila and Charles.  Jennifer and Ben.  There are some couples who break up and then get back together and absolutely nobody is surprised.  The only question is why it took as long as it did.

Lucinda and Delgado were in that same group.  When Lucinda sent him packing after the election, everyone knew it was either because Delgado had voted for Mayor Goodman or he’d slept with Trixie from the Klip-N-Dye.  When they got back together  folks assumed it must have been the politics that made her kick him to the curb.  It would have taken her longer to get over him bumping uglies with Trixie.  Lucinda and Trixie had a history.

Lucinda probably knew in her heart that Delgado would never stoop so low as to actually bed Trixie.  Delgado was not an uneducated man.  He would have been smart enough to figure the odds at being greater than zero that an indiscretion with Trixie would result in an STD that would last forever in exchange for a good time that would only last an evening.  Granted, word has it that the evening in question would be one that men would reflect on years later and try to replicate or at least ponder in detail during quiet moments alone at night, or first thing in the morning in the shower.

The disease transmitted by pulling the lever for Mayor Goodman was metaphorical.  While not without its consequences, those would not involve a round of prescriptions from the Rex Hall Pharmacy, or a permanent shunning from Lucinda, who was a far better woman than Trixie ever endeavored to even want to become.  Everyone assumed that Delgado had voted to reelect Mayor Goodman, crossing Lucinda in a way that caused the breakup.  But, when enough time had passed and emotions weren’t as raw, they figured Lucinda probably realized each person has the right, an obligation in fact, to vote as they see fit.  

She probably figured that, in the big scheme of things, Delgado’s political miscalculations didn’t outweigh the elements of their relationship she had come to treasure.  Particularly those that may have involved the reproductive arts.  Delgado could do things to her that she had no idea could even be done.  A weekend at Delgado’s Airstream could involve things that would have made Lucinda seek Confession, had she been Catholic.  She was almost tempted to share some of them with Sister Thelma, just the same.  But that would have been awkward.

Truth be told, we’re actually kind of a sentimental group down at the Grounds for Divorce.  Sure, there is a lot of bluster and braggadocio.  It is a group of guys, after all.  Rusty takes pride in being able to hike a leg, pretty much at will, and rip off a fart that sounds as though organs were being displaced inside his abdominal cavity.  Chad brags about his sexual prowess with Prudence in ways that make Lucinda want to slap the back of his head with a menu.  I probably go on and on about the benefits of a Mileage Maker Six paired with a two-speed Ford-O-Matic more often than anyone should.  But deep down, we’re all really a bunch of softies.

As such, seeing Lucinda and Delgado back together actually felt pretty good to everyone involved.  Not as good as it felt to Lucinda, to be sure.  But it seemed like all was right in the world again.  Or within the walls of the Grounds for Divorce, anyway.

We’d all settled back into that peaceful state of mind when Benard Marx pulled up in his ‘65 Mustang and came inside for a cup of Folgers.  We don’t see the Mustang that often.  He’s got a list of projects he’s trying to perform on it before it becomes a regular sight out in the parking lot of the GFD.  But every now and again he’ll drive it into town for one thing or another.  Chad had never even seen it before.

Of course, he wanted to go out and have a look.  Even those of us who had seen it a few times before went out and walked around it a few times.  That’s what car guys do.  Besides, Delgado hadn’t shown up for work in the kitchen yet, so it was going to be a while before the possibility of any Heuvos Rancheros.  It was a good way to kill some time till he got there.

Benard gave us the full tour, explaining what he hopes to accomplish.  “Spacer for double groove water pump pulley, rocker moldings, Rally Pack, fog lights, AC, replace drivers door and all new seals and felts, replace window crank mechanism on drivers door, new rear valance w/GT exhaust outlets and back up lights, install GT crossflow muffler, GT exhaust tips, floor sound deadening material, metal divider between cabin and trunk, back up camera, fuel injection and all the ancillary parts, ceramic coating for headers, T-5 transmission conversion, power brakes, power brake vacuum reservoir, new seals for pass. door, bucket seats, and install brackets to allow seat to push farther back,  new brake lines – steel and rubber, new brake cylinder for passenger front wheel and new shoes, disc brake kit for frt. brakes, align front suspension, install improved front suspension bracket, backup lights switch on transmission for Dagenham setup,  interior cabin trunk release, install front fender splash guards, install front & rear three point seat belts, 6×9 speaker for rear package tray, install new aluminum cylinder head, new Holley hi energy distributor, install emergency flashers, install power brakes, install U-joint replacement for “rag joint” in steering, and readjust steering arm and I’ll just about have her the way I want her,” he said.

It made me think that perhaps I’d set my sights too low with just getting a working fuel pump on the Fairlane 500.  Then I remembered the Teddy Roosevelt quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”  I glanced over at the Fairlane 500, complete with fender skirts, and felt unfettered joy as we went back inside.  Teddy was right.

As we repositioned ourselves around the big roundtable in the middle of the GFD, the front bench seat of Benard’s Mustang seemed to gather the most attention.  “Never even knew they put front bench seats in those sumbitches,” Rusty eloquently noted.

“It was apparently a rare option,” Chad noted.  He’d googled and discovered.  Being the millennial at the table, Chad could always have an answer to any question before whoever was asking it even finished getting it out of his mouth.  It’s a trait we all loved to hate.  “About two percent of all Mustangs in 1965 thru 1967 had the bench seat option.  Same in 1968, the last year the option was offered.”  It seemed like he’d been on break from the Piggly Wiggly for a long time.

And then began a long discussion of whether this made bench seats in a Mustang valuable or just rare.  “A 1960 Ford Fairlane 500 sedan is rare,” Brother Bob piped in.  “That doesn’t make it valuable.”  I thought that was a cheap shot.  “No disrespect,” he said, realizing how it came across.  “But the fender skirts don’t do it any favors.”  I was reminded again why I am Methodist.

It was about then that Lucinda’s gold Wagoneer came screeching into the parking lot, seemingly on two wheels.  She slid into the spot right next to Benard’s Mustang.  At a distance I thought it was a little too close.  Nobody had even realized she’d left, apparently to check on Delgado’s whereabouts, while we were all out admiring Benard’s Mustang and debating the seating arrangement.  But the look on her face as she exited the cabin of her Wagoneer was one I’d never seen before.  The front door flew open.  She was white as a ghost, all color drained from her normally tawny tanned visage.

“They came and took Delgado!”

---

---