It was slow at the Grounds for Divorce this morning—the kind of slow where it had been at least twelve hours since Mayor Goodman said something stupid, leaving the regulars to endure a conversational drought.
Talk drifted to Christmas.
“I only want three things this year,” Chad from the Piggly Wiggly announced. “A million dollars in cash, the souls of everyone who won’t return their shopping carts to the corral, and a kitten.”
A noble list, if a little heavy on logistics.
Everyone took a turn. Some of the wishes were disturbing. Lucinda arrived with a fresh pot of Folgers from the Bunn-O-Matic and shook her head.
“I’ve been reading y’all’s posts all year,” she said. “Most of you should be asking for Bibles and dictionaries.”
That’s when Delgado burst out of the kitchen waving his iPhone 4 like a white flag at the Alamo.
“PDXBryan is selling the Volvo on Bring a Trailer!”
Now that was something worth talking about. The place perked up like Folgers finally kicked in. It took everyone back to that long winter-solstice weekend he drove down to Fort Stockton in the brick.
He and a few of the boys had played two gigs at the Lucky Lady Lounge—Hank the bartender helping unload the drum kit from the 240 wagon. “The drums weren’t the only thing that got banged in the back of that wagon,” Trixie from the Klip-N-Dye observed, adjusting her bangs with a look that could melt chrome. Sister Thelma crossed herself and asked for more Sweet-N-Low.
Rex Hall, the pharmacist, remembered the Dairy Twin burger run he’d taken with PDX in the Volvo. “There were so many German components in that Swedish thing,” he said, “that by the time we got back I didn’t know whether to go to IKEA or invade Poland.”
Rusty Hammer was still impressed by the all-brass exhaust system. “Never seen anything like it,” he said. “The whole thing looked like it was welded together from retired saxophones. Boy could play ‘Careless Whisper’ just by shifting into third. Looks like he’s put it back to stock for the sale, though.”
Delgado continued scrolling while the eggs burned behind him. “Says here the speedometer has recently stopped working.”
“So has PDXBryan,” Lucinda shot back.
Then Trixie suggested that New Guy buy the Volvo and ship it to Texas. “It seems to have as many interesting characteristics as you do,” she purred. Trixie has a way of telling you to go to hell that makes you pack a weekend bag.
“I’m not much into seizing the day,” New Guy mumbled, poking at his pancakes. “I just kind of poke it with a stick.”
Lucinda shifted targets. “Chad, you should buy it. Your generation was raised on hose water and neglect. A car like that would put hair on your chest.”
“I wouldn’t know what to do with that third pedal,” he admitted.
Those of us of a certain age stared into our coffee in silent despair.
As for me, I wasn’t convinced PDX was truly parting with that brick. The whole thing smelled like classic Bring a Trailer misdirection—a little Brick Schtick for the audience.
“Or maybe something else with those same initials,” Lucinda added.
Either way, we’d know soon enough whether the Volvo actually sold or whether PDX just needed some attention and a place to park the holiday blues. Around here, it wouldn’t be the first time someone listed a car for the sake of drama.
It reminded Lucinda of the sign above Rex Hall’s counter:
“Laughter is the best medicine—unless you have diarrhea.”
And with that, the conversation finally returned to normal. Or as normal as it gets this close to Christmas in Fort Stockton.
PDXBryan really is selling his one-of-a-kind Volvo wagon on Bring a Trailer right now. Wander over and take a look at the listing here: https://bringatrailer.com/listing/1991-volvo-240-52/#comment-19609455 . Leave him a comment on the car, how tough it is to sell your favorite project, or just show your support for all his contributions to BaT.
While you’re at it, scroll down to this story posted in the comments and hit that Thumbs Up button. This one got the Captain his 50th Comment of the Day. Lucinda says that’s worth a free wedge of pecan pie. Who am I to argue?
5 responses to “BRICK SCHTICK IN WEST TEXAS”
Captain, You never cease to amaze me and make me chuckle! I feel like we’re back in a time when life made sense when I read your commentaries. The photos always give another layer of delight and intrigue as well!
It was kind of you to say so. A chuckle and a little intrigue aren’t a bad way to start the day.
I know better than most how skilled our favorite scribe is at spinnin a yarn, but when Roundheadlights made a comment early in the auction about the Cap’n chiming in I kinda cringed and I could imagine MyCaptain doing the same. I know he’s not one to shy away from a challenge, but sometimes a Texan’s gotta draw the line. Volvos and VWs in unholy matrimony? That’s just TOO much Portland weirdness! I figured CMC’d take the wise course and let Roundheadlights gauntlet lay where it was thrown and get tossed in the trash by a swearing Chad on his next shopping cart run. But NO, he took the challenge, ran with it and here we are! You never cease to amaze me Cap’n – THANKS!
Couldn’t pass up the opportunity to be a part of the next chapter in the story of your Brick. I hope it brings top dollar and the next curator proves himself worthy of the honor of owning it.
I thought I was reading a Capt story and then an online auction broke out! Thanks Capt for all you do! Down at Earl’s Salvage Yard and Formal wear, I hear they have just doubled the price for used Volvo motor mounts!