STORIES

LINCOLN DODGES A BULLET


Dan Donley was held in a whole lot higher regard back in his hometown of Fort Stockton than he was inside the World Headquarters of the Ford Motor Company in late 1950s.

At least by the other executives.

As far as The Deuce was concerned, Donley’s last name may as well have been Ford. He thought the kid from Texas could do no wrong after rolling out a complete business plan to revitalize Mercury and position it as a true competitor to Buick and Chrysler instead of merely a gussied-up Ford with extra chrome and a different grille.

The men seated around the long conference table on the thirteenth floor still rolled their eyes whenever Donley spoke up during meetings, but they’d learned to keep most of it to themselves. In the Executive Dining Room, or out on the links away from prying eyes, they didn’t hesitate to share opinions about “the little bastard with the funny accent.”

They were respectful enough around the office. After all, every man at that table knew how to play the game or he wouldn’t have a seat there in the first place.

But Dan Donley was playing to an audience of one.

And for the moment, that strategy was working just fine.

At a meeting during the early planning stages for the super-exclusive Continental Mark II, Donley casually scooted his chair back from the table, dropped his gold FORD pen onto a yellow legal pad, and let out a long sigh.

Right on cue, The Deuce looked up.

“What is it, Donley? You got something to add?”

“I’m just thinkin’, Sir.”

Every other executive in the room immediately looked down at the table. They all knew something was coming.

“The dollar we’re spending on engineering, patents, prototypes, and technology to put a disappearing convertible top on the Mark II is never gonna be recouped,” Donley said carefully. “And we’re still gonna have to ask over ten grand apiece for the car without the hide-away feature.”

“What are you saying, Donley?”

Everybody at the table knew exactly what the kid from Texas had just done. He’d set the hook, and now The Deuce was already halfway reeled in.

“Oh, never mind,” Donley replied with a shrug. “Probably a crazy idea.”

Which was about as effective as a stripper taking extra time with the zipper on her dress.

The Deuce leaned forward immediately.

“Go ahead, kid. No idea’s a bad idea. What are you thinking?”



“Bear with me,” Donley said slowly. “What if we take all that expense and apply it to the Ford convertible instead? Instead of selling five thousand of ’em, we sell fifty thousand of ’em. Chevrolet and Plymouth won’t have anything to compete with it. We’ll get magazine covers, showroom traffic, free publicity. Keep the standard soft-top Sunliner for folks who don’t want the novelty or can’t afford the technology.”

And all of a sudden the Skyliner was born.

Donley was a hero again.

And Continental Mark II sales weren’t affected at all.

“Swear to God, this kid’s a genius,” The Deuce said as they all walked out of the conference room.

The Chairman slapped Donley on the back.

The other executives cringed hard enough to need chiropractic attention.

After that came another promotion. The title itself was vague enough to sound important without anyone understanding exactly what he did. The office was bigger and now sat just down the hall from The Deuce himself. The other executives were livid, though they still congratulated him and contributed dutifully toward the tooled leather desk set sitting on the corner of his new desk.

Despite having the second-largest office on the thirteenth floor, the prettiest secretary, and his choice of any Ford Motor Company product for a company car, Donley still wasn’t seen around headquarters nearly as often as the others.

Nobody was entirely sure where he spent most of his time.

But he was tanner than the rest of the executives. More fit. Less soft around the middle. And somehow he seemed to know more about the company’s overall products than men who had spent twenty years trapped inside one division.

The others spent their days studying charts and reports.

Donley spent his time around dealerships, engineering garages, proving grounds, and ordinary people.

Which made him dangerous.

When The Deuce suddenly called an emergency meeting involving department heads, product planners, and brand managers, everyone knew it was going to be ugly. Several men quietly poured themselves stiff drinks before leaving their offices and heading toward the conference room.

The Deuce was already seated at the head of the table when they arrived.

There was a stack of sales printouts in front of him.

Next to those sat a half-empty tumbler of expensive Scotch.

Everyone filed in quietly and took their seats.

“Has anyone taken a look at the sales numbers for the Lincoln Division?” he asked in a voice so calm it made everybody nervous.

Nobody answered.

“Well, let me tell you.” He lifted one of the papers. “Cadillac is outselling us four to one. Sometimes more. Every. Single. Year.”

His voice began to rise.

“‘We need to make our luxury car bigger than Cadillac,’ you said. ‘We need to make our offering more unique than Cadillac,’ you said. ‘We need to make Lincoln and Continental uni-body cars,’ you said.”

Now the quiver had entered his voice.

The dangerous quiver.

“Sales have gone down every single year since we introduced these gigantic mistakes on wheels. EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR.”

Silence.

The Deuce took a long sip from the tumbler and let the room sweat.

“Boys, Cadillac controlled sixty-five percent of the luxury market before we rolled out the ‘new and improved’ 1958 models that were supposed to beat them.” His face was turning beet red now. “Now Cadillac controls seventy-nine percent of the luxury market.”

He slammed the sales sheets onto the table.

“DO YOU CALL THAT A SUCCESS?”

Nobody moved.

Nobody blinked.

Somewhere in the building an elevator dinged.

“I’m pulling the plug on Lincoln,” he finally growled. “We’ve lost our last dollar trying to play in the luxury market. We lost money on every Mark II we built. God knows what we’re losing on every Lincoln. I’M DONE.”



Every executive at the table stared down at his yellow legal pad.

Except Dan Donley.

Donley was smiling.

Not a big grin. Just enough of one to suggest a man whose brain had started turning gears the instant disaster entered the room.

Anybody who glanced in his direction secretly hoped this would finally be the meeting where he overplayed his hand and got thrown out onto the street.

“Or,” Donley said calmly, “we could go another direction.”

Several executives actually stiffened in anticipation.

This had to be it.

This had to be the moment the kid finally pushed too far.

The Deuce didn’t say anything.

Donley took the silence as permission.

“We don’t assassinate Lincoln,” he said. “We turn it into a Kennedy.”

A muffled chuckle escaped somewhere near the far end of the table.

The Deuce ignored it.

“We’ve proven we can’t out-Cadillac Cadillac,” Donley continued. “So we quit trying. We stop playing their game entirely.”

The Deuce’s face had faded from beet red down toward a calmer shade of pinkish fuchsia. He reached for the tumbler again but stayed quiet.

“Instead of a monster with ridiculous fins, a ton and a half of chrome, and proportions too damn big for most American garages,” Donley said, “we go smaller instead of bigger.”

Several executives exchanged looks.

Smaller?

Luxury cars were supposed to get bigger every year. That was practically federal law.

“We put simple blades down the sides of the car. The greenhouse sits low between ’em. Minimal chrome. Almost no chrome.”

Now they were certain he’d lost his mind.

“We no longer have Lincolns and Continentals. Coupes and sedans. We simplify the whole thing. One line. One identity. The Lincoln Continental. Elegant. Clean. Modern. Just a sedan and a convertible.”

He paused deliberately.

“And we make the rear doors clamshell for easier entry and exit.”

Nobody spoke.

“The ’58 through ’60 Lincolns were dinosaurs before they ever hit the showroom floor,” Donley continued. “Old thinking. The new cars need to feel young. Fresh. Like the future.”

He smiled slightly.

“Like Kennedy.”

“We take ‘Thunderbird’ off and put ‘Continental’ on. Add two more doors. Change the direction of the luxury market completely.”

The Deuce leaned back slowly.

“We don’t have time to reinvent the whole brand,” he said. “Design new cars. Build prototypes. Start over from scratch. Interesting idea, Donley. But impossible.”

“We don’t have to start over,” Donley replied.

Now everybody looked up.

“We already have ’em downstairs.”

The room went still.

“They’re sitting in the design studio right now.” Donley shrugged. “They just happen to have ‘Thunderbird’ written on the sides.”

Executives stared at one another a little too long.

Donley continued.

“Our luxury car will make Cadillac look like the fat girl in the taffeta prom dress, all gussied up for the buffet line at K-Bob’s.”

A grin slowly spread across The Deuce’s face.

Donley sensed blood in the water and went in for the kill.

Now even a few executives laughed nervously.

“We make the Lincoln Continental Audrey Hepburn in a little black dress and a single strand of pearls.”

Throughout the entire speech, Donley had been sketching furiously on the yellow legal pad in front of him.

At the word “pearls,” he slid the sketch down the table.

The Deuce studied it silently.

Then he stood.

“Follow me.”



Thirteen executives rose from their chairs and followed the Chairman downstairs in complete silence.

Inside the design studio sat the clay Thunderbird proposal.

The Deuce looked at the sketch.

Then the clay model.

Then back at Donley.

“You might be onto something, kid.”

Donley nodded once.

“Once we finalize the design, we make an offer to the United States Government,” he said. “Capitalize on what we’ve done. Get more free publicity than we could ever afford to buy.”

The Deuce folded his arms.

“Go on.”

“We take one of the new Continental convertibles, stretch it into a limousine, and lease it to the White House for a dollar a year. Nothing says we’ve arrived like having the new young president and his wife seen riding around in it.”

The Deuce stared at the clay model.

Donley smiled.

“Hell,” he added, “maybe even give him one for personal use up in Hyannis.”

The Chairman looked at the clay model again, smiling now like history itself had just walked into the room and offered him a handshake.

No one in the studio understood yet how history really worked.



2 responses to “LINCOLN DODGES A BULLET”

  1. I really like Donley, but hoping that down the road in his life and career doesn’t develop some substance abuse problem/mental issues/crises of confidence that causes him to conjure up the Versailles, or worse yet the Blackwood.

    It could happen to the best of us.

  2. “Less Is More”
    Every hucksters dream kicker!

    And, where are we in the 21st century – take 20 minutes and watch and study traffic. (We all already have.)
    $100,000 cars side by side with $30.000 cars. Take off the name, what’s the difference.

    [oh, and BTW, I like the Duece in the stories]

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