STORIES

EIGHTEEN GALLONS OF REGULAR


There are mornings that announce themselves as history, although most of them have the decency to wait until after breakfast. Others begin with somebody looking for the keys, somebody else wondering why the coffee tastes worse than yesterday, and an old man raising the door on a service bay because Tuesday has arrived and Tuesday has work in it. September 11, 2001, began in Fort Stockton as the second kind. The sky was clear, the temperature was already climbing, traffic moved along Dickinson Boulevard, and at 7:30 that morning Leon Mercer unlocked the front door of Mercer’s Gulf & Service, although the Gulf sign had been gone for years and the pumps hadn’t belonged to Gulf since sometime during the Reagan administration. People still called it Mercer’s Gulf because Leon had learned long ago that there were certain things in Fort Stockton beyond the authority of ownership, corporations or improved signage.

Leon was sixty-four years old and had been talking about retiring since approximately his fifty-eighth birthday. His wife, Margaret, had learned to interpret the word retirement as meaning Leon intended to complain more frequently about working while continuing to arrive before sunrise. The station had three service bays, two gasoline islands and a little office with a counter polished smooth by thirty years of elbows. There was a coffee maker that produced something legally entitled to the name, a rack of fan belts, several cans of motor oil nobody had purchased since leaded gasoline was available, and a faded calendar from a Pecos County feed company. A thirteen-inch television sat on a shelf in the corner. Leon usually kept it turned off because he considered daytime television evidence that electricity had been put to uses its inventors had not anticipated.

Parked beside the building was his 1971 Ford F-100 Sport Custom, a long-bed two-wheel-drive pickup that had originally been sold in Arizona. Leon had owned it for most of its life, long enough that nobody in Fort Stockton could remember him without it. The Ford had left the factory in Bahama Blue and Wimbledon White, although thirty years of Arizona and West Texas sun, gravel roads, parking lots and honest labor had negotiated amendments to both colors. Rust had spread across portions of the hood and upper body in broad reddish patches. The white cab roof remained defiantly white, the blue remained defiantly blue, and everything between the two seemed to have reached a private agreement with time. It was not restored, preserved or collectible. In 2001 it was simply Leon’s old pickup.

Under the hood was Ford’s 360-cubic-inch V8, rated when new at 215 horsepower and 327 pound-feet of torque, back when manufacturers still printed numbers that caused teenage boys to linger around dealership windows. The engine breathed through a two-barrel carburetor and announced itself through dual exhausts. Leon had eventually fitted Cherry Bomb Turbo mufflers, a decision Margaret regarded as evidence that male adolescence could apparently enter remission for forty years and then return without warning. The truck had power steering, dual fuel tanks, adjustable towing mirrors, a bedside toolbox and a receiver hitch. The original air-conditioning compressor was gone, making the factory air-conditioning controls on the dashboard mostly archaeological. Fifteen-inch white wagon wheels wore BFGoodrich All-Terrain tires considerably more ambitious than anything a two-wheel-drive pickup had any intention of attempting.

Inside was a black bench seat, black carpeting and an AM radio. Over the years the Ford had hauled lumber, compressors, deer corn, transmissions, fence posts, furniture, grandchildren, one washing machine, two refrigerators and an indeterminate number of objects Margaret had been assured would be removed from the bed “tomorrow.” It had also carried Leon’s son Daniel to Little League practice, junior high, his first summer job and, eventually, the airport when Daniel left Texas for New York. Daniel Mercer was forty-one now. He had been living in New York for years, and he was a firefighter.



At 7:46 Fort Stockton time, American Airlines Flight 11 struck the North Tower of the World Trade Center.

Leon didn’t know it. He was underneath a Chevrolet pickup changing its oil.

The first person who told him was Chad Wilkins, who had stopped on his way to work because one of his front tires had been losing three pounds of air every other day. Chad was twenty-five years younger than the man Fort Stockton would eventually know as one of the regulars at the Grounds for Divorce. He had considerably more hair, considerably less waistline and had not yet accumulated the experience necessary to become acting manager of a Piggly Wiggly while holding strong opinions about virtually everything outside the grocery industry. He found Leon beneath the Chevrolet, tapped the sole of his work boot and said a plane had hit the World Trade Center.

Leon rolled halfway out. “What kind of plane?”

“Airplane.”

“I gathered that much.”

“Big one.”

That got Leon the rest of the way out.

They walked into the office, and Leon switched on the little television. Smoke poured from the upper floors of the North Tower against a sky almost painfully blue. The people on television didn’t know exactly what had happened yet. There was talk of a terrible accident, some catastrophic navigation failure, perhaps a pilot error so extraordinary it was difficult to comprehend. Leon stood behind the counter holding an oily rag while Chad stared at the screen. After a moment Chad glanced toward him and said, more carefully than before, “Daniel works in Manhattan.”

“I know where Daniel works.”

“You called him?”

Leon looked at the telephone. “Not yet.”

He picked it up and tried.

He couldn’t get through.



At 8:03 Fort Stockton time, United Airlines Flight 175 struck the South Tower. Leon and Chad watched it happen live. There are moments when the human mind rejects what the eyes have already accepted, and for several seconds neither man said anything. The television replayed the impact. Then it replayed it again. Chad finally whispered that it wasn’t an accident, and Leon said no, it wasn’t. Then he reached for the telephone and tried Daniel again.

By nine o’clock there were seven people inside Mercer’s station. By ten there were twelve. Nobody had planned to gather there. People came for gasoline and stayed for the television. Others heard that Leon’s boy was with the New York Fire Department and stopped because there seemed to be something indecent about leaving him alone. The station became one of those accidental gathering places communities create during catastrophes, not because anybody has appointed it for the purpose but because somebody has a television, somebody has coffee and everybody needs to be somewhere other than by themselves.

Rex Hall arrived from the pharmacy carrying a portable radio and stood beside the counter with his glasses pushed high on his nose. Hairless B29 appeared shortly afterward, considerably younger but already completely deserving of his nickname, and spent his first five minutes saying almost nothing, which may have been the earliest indication anyone received that the situation was truly serious. Angus Hopper drove in from his ranch and remained near the doorway with his hat in his hands. Sheriff Ray Vickers stopped briefly, left, then returned before leaving again because law-enforcement agencies across America had suddenly been told to consider possibilities that would have sounded ridiculous twenty-four hours earlier. Someone brought sandwiches. Nobody ate many. Someone made another pot of coffee. Nobody complained about how bad it was.

They watched the Pentagon burning. They heard about another airplane somewhere over Pennsylvania. They watched people running through streets in New York. Then they watched the South Tower collapse, and the little office at Mercer’s station became completely silent. Leon stood behind the counter and stared at the television while the enormous cloud rolled between the buildings. He tried Daniel’s number again, heard nothing useful and set the telephone down. When the North Tower fell less than half an hour later, Leon walked outside.



Nobody followed him at first. He stood beside the 1971 Ford with one hand resting on the driver’s door and looked up Dickinson Boulevard. Cars continued moving in both directions. A semi downshifted somewhere toward the interstate. The traffic light changed because traffic lights are under no obligation to acknowledge catastrophe. Above all of it was the enormous September sky over Fort Stockton, clear and blue from horizon to horizon.

There wasn’t an airplane in it.

That was what Leon noticed.

He had lived beneath West Texas skies his entire life and had never considered airplanes part of the scenery until they were gone. Hairless eventually came outside and stood several feet away. He asked Leon if there was anybody he wanted him to call. Leon looked at him for a moment and asked who. Hairless admitted he didn’t know. Neither did Leon. That was the problem. There was nobody to call who could tell him what he needed to know.

Daniel was somewhere in New York City. Leon knew his son had been scheduled to work that morning. He knew firefighters from across Manhattan and the surrounding boroughs had gone toward the towers while everybody else was trying to get away from them. He knew Daniel might have been among them. Beyond that, Leon knew nothing, and there are few things more unbearable for a father than discovering that the entire world can know something terrible is happening while nobody can tell him whether it has happened to his child.

So Leon went back to work.

Not because the Chevrolet desperately needed its oil changed. It could have gone another thousand miles and the Republic would probably have survived. Leon went back underneath it because there was an oil filter on the bench, a drain plug waiting to be tightened and a wrench that still fit his hand. Sometimes the only defense a man has against something too large to comprehend is finishing the small job directly in front of him.

Around noon, a silver minivan with California plates pulled beside the pumps. A man got out, followed by a woman carrying a sleeping little girl. Two boys remained inside, surrounded by pillows, fast-food wrappers and the debris produced when a family has been traveling for several days. The man looked exhausted and frightened in a way Leon had already seen several times that morning. He asked if the station still had gasoline because he’d heard stations were running out. Leon told him they weren’t, and when the man asked if he could fill the tank, Leon said that was generally how they sold it.

The joke almost worked.

The man filled the minivan. Eighteen gallons.

When he came inside to pay, Leon was standing behind the counter watching the television. The stranger asked how much he owed. Leon looked through the window at the woman and the three children waiting in the van and told him nothing.

The man frowned. “What?”

“Go.”

“I can pay.”

“I know.”

“I’ve got money.”

“I said I know.”

The stranger glanced toward the television. Somebody standing near the coffee maker quietly explained that Leon’s son was a New York firefighter and that nobody had heard from him. The man’s face changed immediately. He pulled his wallet from his pocket and said, “No. I’m paying.”

Leon shook his head. “You’ve got two boys and a little girl in that van. Get them home.”



The two men stood looking at one another across the counter. Neither knew the other. Under normal circumstances they would have exchanged money, perhaps complained about gasoline prices and never thought of each other again. But there was very little normal left in that Tuesday. Finally the stranger put his wallet away and extended his hand. Leon took it.

“What’s your name?”

“Michael.”

“Get ’em home, Michael.”

The minivan pulled onto Dickinson Boulevard and disappeared west. Leon watched it until it was gone, then turned back toward the television. He apparently considered the matter finished.

Fort Stockton did not.

Word got around.

By midafternoon Leon had put gasoline into a nurse’s Buick headed toward El Paso, a college student’s Honda bound for Las Cruces and an elderly couple’s Mercury Grand Marquis whose driver had become convinced every gasoline station between Fort Stockton and Tucson would be empty by nightfall. He charged none of them. When a trucker asked Leon if he was giving gasoline away to everybody, Leon said no, only to people who looked like they needed to get somewhere worse than he needed their money.

Rex eventually cornered him behind the counter. “Leon, you can’t give away your inventory.”

“Apparently I can.”

“You know what I mean.”

Leon looked past him at the television, where another photograph of another missing firefighter had appeared. “No, Rex. Today I don’t think I do.”

That ended the discussion.

By late afternoon the people around the station had found things to do because standing helplessly in front of a television eventually becomes unbearable. Hairless swept the service bays without being asked. Chad checked tire pressures on three cars whose owners were too distracted to remember why they had stopped. Angus stood near the pumps directing traffic despite nobody appointing him to do so and traffic not particularly requiring direction. Rex answered questions from travelers about where they might find food or a motel room. Sheriff Ray stopped again and told everybody what little he knew, which wasn’t much more than they knew already. Fort Stockton had been confronted with a national catastrophe and, lacking any more sophisticated response, had apparently decided to organize a gas station.

Margaret arrived sometime before supper. She walked through the office door, saw Leon and did not ask whether he’d heard from Daniel. She could tell. She simply came behind the counter and sat beside him. The telephone remained between them while people continued coming and going. Someone lowered the station’s flag. Somebody brought another pot of coffee. Someone else brought food from home. Darkness settled over Dickinson Boulevard, and the people who had spent all day together gradually realized that none of them had any idea when they were supposed to leave.

The television continued showing the same images, except now there were names. Faces of missing people began appearing. Firehouses in New York were shown with photographs taped to walls and empty chairs that suddenly seemed more terrible than the burning buildings. Numbers grew. Reporters struggled for language large enough to describe what had happened. Leon said almost nothing.

At 9:17 that night, the telephone rang.

The conversation around the station stopped. Leon looked at the telephone before answering it, as though whatever existed on the other end had already divided his life into two possible futures.

“Mercer’s.”

He listened. Margaret stood beside him.

“Yeah.”

His face didn’t change, but his eyes closed.

“I’m here.”

He listened again, then lowered his head. “Your mama’s here.”

Margaret covered her mouth with both hands. Leon swallowed, said, “All right, son,” twice, and handed her the telephone.

Daniel was alive.

His company had responded downtown after the first impact, but confusion, road closures and reassignment had changed where they were sent. He had worked through the day and had only now managed to reach his parents. Men Daniel knew had gone into the towers. Some of them had not come out. There would be names Leon recognized in the days ahead, and funerals Daniel would attend, and twenty years of consequences that none of them could yet imagine. But on that night there was only one fact large enough for Leon and Margaret to hold.

Their son was alive.



Leon walked outside while Margaret remained on the telephone. He opened the driver’s door of the Ford and climbed behind the wheel but didn’t start the engine. The old bench seat received him the way it had received him for thirty years. The AM radio was silent. The keys hung from the ignition. Through the windshield he could see the gasoline pumps, the station and the silhouettes of people inside deliberately not looking toward him.

Leon put both hands on the steering wheel and cried.

Nobody went outside.

That was another kindness.

Twenty-five years passed, which is what years do whether anyone gives them permission or not. Mercer’s station eventually closed. The building changed hands twice and then disappeared. The pumps were removed. Dickinson Boulevard continued carrying people east and west because roads are indifferent to history and useful precisely because of it. Chad got older. Rex got older. Angus got older. Hairless remained bald, thereby demonstrating that history occasionally preserves the things already completed to its satisfaction.

Leon Mercer died in 2018. Margaret followed three years later. Daniel eventually retired from the New York Fire Department and came home to Texas carrying memories he discussed when he wanted to and kept to himself when he didn’t. Among the things that came to him after his father’s death was the 1971 Ford.

The truck remained.

Daniel never restored it. People suggested it, of course. By then a 1971 F-100 Sport Custom with a 360 V8 had become something people photographed at car shows instead of something people left outside a service station with a toolbox in the bed. A proper restoration could have returned it to the bright Bahama Blue and Wimbledon White it had worn when Richard Nixon was president. The rust could have been repaired, the chrome polished, the missing air-conditioning compressor replaced and every piece returned to factory condition.

Daniel wouldn’t allow it.

He repaired what needed repairing. The 360 remained beneath the hood, still breathing through its two-barrel carburetor and rumbling through dual exhausts. The fuel system was attended to, the old tank cleaned and the necessary lines, filters, sending unit and pump replaced. The passenger floor was repaired. Padded carpeting went down. The bench was recovered in black velour. A new headliner, dome lens, armrests and aluminum sill plates replaced pieces that time had consumed. The white wagon wheels received new center caps and lug nuts and wore 32×11.50-inch BFGoodrich All-Terrain T/A tires. The truck was made dependable without being made new.

The difference mattered to Daniel.

The faded Bahama Blue remained. The Wimbledon White remained. The rust across the hood remained. So did the adjustable towing mirrors, bedside toolbox, receiver hitch and the AM radio. The dashboard still possessed controls for air conditioning that no longer existed beneath the hood, which Daniel considered appropriate. A vehicle that old was entitled to remember equipment it no longer had.

On September 11, 2026, Daniel drove the Ford into Fort Stockton.



The old 360 rumbled through its dual exhaust as the F-100 rolled down Dickinson Boulevard. The big towing mirrors trembled slightly. The BFGoodrich tires hummed against the pavement. Warm September air came through the open windows because the dashboard could claim whatever it liked about air conditioning, but the engine compartment had held a contrary opinion for years. Daniel drove slowly, passing places he remembered and places that existed only because what he remembered had been torn down.

He stopped near where his father’s station had once stood and shut off the engine.

For a while he simply sat there.

Like everyone who had lived through that Tuesday, Daniel remembered the towers. He remembered the smoke, the streets, the photographs and the funerals. He remembered friends. He remembered men who had walked into buildings while thousands were walking out. Twenty-five years had not diminished those memories, but time had done something unexpected to them. It had allowed smaller memories to gather around the enormous ones.

His father’s voice on the telephone.

His mother’s crying.

A New York firehouse at three in the morning.

A cup of coffee nobody drank.

The impossible blue of the sky.

And a service station in Fort Stockton, Texas, seventeen hundred miles away, where people had gathered around a thirteen-inch television because an old mechanic’s son was somewhere inside the worst day any of them could remember.

Daniel opened the glove compartment.

Inside was an old receipt book from Mercer’s station. Most of the pages contained the ordinary arithmetic of a life spent keeping automobiles moving: oil changes, tires, batteries, fan belts, hoses, gasoline, twenty dollars here and forty-eight dollars there. Nothing important enough for a history book had ever happened on most of those pages.

Then he reached September 11, 2001.

There, in Leon’s handwriting, was an entry Daniel had found years earlier.

18 GAL REG

Beside the amount due, Leon had written:

$0.00

Daniel never learned the last name of the family. Leon hadn’t written it down. He had recorded the gasoline because Leon recorded everything, but apparently the identity of the people receiving it had not seemed important. Maybe they made it home to California. Maybe those two boys were middle-aged men now. Maybe the little girl who had slept in her mother’s arms while Leon filled their tank had children of her own. Maybe none of them remembered the old mechanic in Fort Stockton who refused their money on the worst day America had experienced in generations.

Daniel hoped they did.

But it was all right if they didn’t.

Kindness does not require a receipt.

He closed the book and looked through the windshield. Above Fort Stockton was another enormous September sky, blue enough to make an old memory hurt. This time there were airplanes in it. A contrail crossed high overhead, something so ordinary in 2026 that most people beneath it would never think to look up.

Daniel did.

Then he turned the key.

The 360 rolled twice and caught, settling into the familiar uneven rumble his father had listened to for most of his adult life. Daniel rested one hand on the steering wheel for another moment before putting the Ford in gear and pulling back onto Dickinson Boulevard.

Twenty-five years earlier, America learned how quickly an ordinary morning could become history. We learned how buildings could fall, how thousands of lives could disappear between breakfast and lunch, and how a beautiful blue sky could become something people remembered with dread. We remember the towers because we should. We remember the airplanes, the firefighters, the police officers, the office workers, the passengers and crews, the Pentagon, the field in Pennsylvania, the families who waited for telephone calls that never came and the families who received calls they would spend the rest of their lives remembering.

But that wasn’t everything that happened on September 11.

People opened doors. They gave blood. They carried strangers. They offered rides. They handed out water. They searched for the missing. They stood beside frightened people when there was nothing useful to say. In towns thousands of miles from New York, Washington and Pennsylvania, people gathered around televisions and telephones and one another because there was no other place they knew to go.

And at a little service station in Fort Stockton, Texas, an old mechanic who did not know whether his own son was alive looked through a window at a frightened family trying to get home.

He could not reach New York.

He could not help the people in the towers.

He could not protect his son.

But he could do something.

Eighteen gallons.

Regular.

$0.00.



2 responses to “EIGHTEEN GALLONS OF REGULAR”

  1. I will always remember that day. As it progressed, fear grew for me. Even though I was in Oshawa, ON. far away from NY city, the amount of hate that caused those results still saddens me. That evening I drove my ’69 Caprice 2dr up to our Port Perry ON. cruise-in. I brought an American flag and after getting permission to fly it from the cruise director, I attached it to the radio antennae. The minute it did, many other cars attached American flags they had brought from home. We are all attached through Love.

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